Motherhood...........

I went to the movies last night and didn’t get home until 12:00am so needless to say I did not run today. But I will work out today (and yes you can hold me to it) I will do palates tonight (After I take a nap of course). I have worked so hard to lose the first 10 pounds. And I refuse to gain a single pound back. Even with ten pounds sliced off of me I still feel unattractive. I look in the mirror and I just want to take my finger and shove it down my throat! Why must I feel this way? Why can’t I just feel beautiful, sexy, or at least pretty? It is sad to say that yes I want to be sexy. I think it’s because sexy is confidence. Why can’t I have that? I wish someone would have told me all the changes that my body was going to undergo when I got knocked up. Instead all I ever heard growing up was don’t get pregnant because delivery hurts. I think that if today’s youth was taught in school more about the hormone changes instead of just don’t do it because pregnancy ruins your life and you run a risk of getting an STD. they would wait to have sex until they were married and ready to have children. I truly believe that if teenage girls were taught that you get fat, depressed, and memory loss, they would run away from the guy instead of getting them to commit. I love my baby and I am blessed to have her. But I can’t imagine going through this as a child, I am 23 and still not fully mature to handle all of these changes. I need and will teach my daughter to respect her body and to have confidence so that she will not have to seek it elsewhere. Sex is something only adults should be permitted to do. There are too many feelings involved and consciences. I will make sure my daughter is fully educated.